The desire to go back and rewrite your past is seductive, especially if your past was one of abuse and pain. Denial allows you to do just that. Denial takes the pages of your past and alters them according to “if only’s,” or it substitutes blank pages for the pain that’s really there.
A familiar proverb assures us that those who refuse to learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them. It can also be said that those who deny the events of their own history are doomed to relive them. To deny abuse is to perpetuate it. The only way to stop the chain of abuse from your parents, to yourself, and to others through you is to stop denying the truth of that abuse.
Each of us is the product of our experiences, and not one of us is immune to the pain they have caused us. We may not be able to control what happened to us, but we can control who we become as a result of those past events.
First, however, you need to look at those experiences honestly. The light of reality can seem harsh and bright to one who has been hiding from the truth, but colors you’ve never seen await you. Clarity and detail spring forth from the light of truth. The tears you shed on your journey are your eyes watering as they adjust to the light.
Truth can be harsh though; it can seem better to hide from the truth. But hiding from the truth in any given situation doesn’t make it go away. Truth remains out there, affecting you, your circumstances, and the people around you. It doesn’t go away just because you want it to. The best cause of action is to ride with the truth instead of fighting against it. If you’re concerned about the ride, start small. Look for one truth any time you feel compelled to run and hide from something you experience.
God is no stranger to harsh truth. The truth of our sin is as hash as a man dying on a cross. But, remember, the truth of Christ does not end with the crucifixion. After the crucifixion comes resurrection and restoration. (Philippians 2:5-11 is a beautiful passage showing this amazing progression!)
As you put to death your denial, you resurrect truth. As you resurrect truth, you loosen the power your past has over you. This will not be an easy thing to do, but you have as your ally one who spent three days in the grave himself to be raised to a new life. Please, do not lose hope. Please, do not give up.
If you or a loved one is struggling to find peace from their past, they may need professional help. Our team of recovery professionals at The Center • A Place of HOPE has helped many people recover from eating disorders, addictions, anxiety, depression, and the many other manifestations of past trauma and abuse. And they are standing by to assist you. We focus on whole person care, addressing all aspects of an individual’s life experience. Fill out this form or call 1-888-747-5592 to get more information or to speak confidentially with a recovery specialist today.