Over and over again, the Bible calls God sovereign, which means he has unlimited power and authority. To move from relationship dependency to spiritual dependency, you must acknowledge who has true power or authority over you.
When you come to believe in and trust in God’s love for you, you are able to form a secure spiritual attachment. This secure spiritual attachment is possible no matter what sort of attachment you’ve had in your Earthly relationships.
Let’s look at several important questions that speak to spiritual attachment.
Am I worthy of being loved? You are loved because God loves you. You no longer need to be “worthy” in order to be loved. This first fundamental question becomes simply, Am I loved by God? The answer is a resounding yes!
Am I able to do what I need to do to get the love I need? Since you are loved by God, you already have the love you need. No longer must you perform or manipulate or coerce or barter for the love you need. The question becomes, Has God already done everything needed to love me? The answer is a resounding yes!
Are other people reliable and trustworthy? From an earthly perspective, the answer is often no. From a spiritual perspective, this question becomes, Is God reliable and trustworthy? Again, the answer is yes!
Are other people accessible and willing to respond to me when I need them? From a spiritual perspective, this becomes, Is God accessible and willing to respond to me when I need him? Again, the answer is yes!
Each of these questions, from a spiritual perspective, is answered by God with a resounding yes! God, then, can become the basis for secure attachment. His love can help you create a secure attachment to who you are, to others, and to him.
God has already done everything he needs to love you. Trusting and living in that love, however, require effort on your part. The amount of effort needed to believe in the good news of God and to begin to create a secure attachment based on him will depend on what attachment style you’re starting with. Those who tend toward a more secure attachment style will, generally, have an easier time transferring those yeses they ascribe to self and others over to God. However, even those who have secure attachments may still struggle with certain aspects of God’s nature and promises.
Struggling with understanding and trusting the truth of God, his nature, and his promises is vital, important work. The lies of dependency tell you that you must be perfect in your understanding of God before you can have a relationship with him. This is not the case. The only perfection required for a relationship with God is his perfect love, not our perfect understanding.
Knowing God is a process because, though God does not change, we do. As we change and grow and experience life, we have the opportunity for greater spiritual depth and understanding. The spiritual people we were in our twenties are very different from the spiritual people we are now, decades later. We have been, are, and will be loved as we move through our lives and as our understanding of God changes and grows.
The challenge is that the more we learn about God, the more we come to realize we’re more flawed than we ever imagined. If you are a dependent person in recovery who is learning more about God, the challenge is not to park on “more flawed.” Instead, you need to continue on, integrating that knowledge with an understanding of and a belief in God’s assurance that, while you are flawed, you are also more loved than you ever dared hope. Understanding grants you godly humility but also strength, gratitude, and joy.
If you are struggling with your personal relationships, The Center • A Place of HOPE is here to help. Our team is skilled at navigating these sensitive issues, and we have Christian Treatment Programs available. For more information, fill out this form or call 1-888-747-5592 to speak confidentially with a specialist today.